Getting to Yes with Yourself - William Ury

Getting to Yes with Yourself - William Ury

Getting to Yes with Yourself: How to Overcome Self-Defeating Behavior

In his groundbreaking book, Getting to Yes, William Ury showed us how to negotiate with others in a way that leads to mutually beneficial agreements. Now, in Getting to Yes with Yourself, Ury turns his attention inward, showing us how to negotiate with ourselves in order to overcome self-defeating behavior and achieve our goals.

Why We Need to Negotiate with Ourselves

We all have an inner voice that tells us what we can and can't do. This voice can be our best friend or our worst enemy. When it's positive and supportive, it helps us to achieve our goals. But when it's negative and critical, it can hold us back from reaching our full potential.

The key to success is learning how to negotiate with this inner voice. We need to be able to listen to it without being controlled by it. We need to be able to challenge its negative messages and replace them with more positive ones.

The Four Steps of Negotiating with Yourself

Ury outlines a four-step process for negotiating with yourself:

  1. Identify your self-defeating behavior. What are the things you do that hold you back from achieving your goals?
  2. Understand the underlying needs. What are the needs that are driving your self-defeating behavior?
  3. Generate options. What are the different ways you could meet your needs in a more positive way?
  4. Make a commitment. Choose the option that you believe will be most effective and make a commitment to yourself to follow through.

Examples of Self-Defeating Behavior

There are many different types of self-defeating behavior. Some common examples include:

  • Procrastination
  • Perfectionism
  • Self-criticism
  • Negative self-talk
  • Fear of failure
  • Avoidance
  • Impulsivity
  • Overeating
  • Substance abuse

The Benefits of Negotiating with Yourself

There are many benefits to learning how to negotiate with yourself. Some of the benefits include:

  • Increased self-confidence
  • Improved decision-making
  • Reduced stress
  • Increased motivation
  • Greater resilience
  • Improved relationships
  • Increased happiness

How to Get Started

If you're ready to start negotiating with yourself, here are a few tips to get you started:

  • Pay attention to your inner voice. What is it saying to you?
  • Challenge your negative thoughts. Are they really true? Are there other ways to look at the situation?
  • Replace negative thoughts with positive ones. What would you say to a friend who was feeling the same way?
  • Take action. Don't just sit around and wait for things to change. Take steps to make your life better.

Conclusion

Getting to Yes with Yourself is a powerful book that can help you to overcome self-defeating behavior and achieve your goals. If you're ready to take control of your life, this book is a must-read.